The Journey

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It was cold, dark like the universe hiding, circling the outer most edges of a universe in a stellar rimmed ballet, searching…..a maniacal looking it was. How many days would this go on?….surely….surely….the madness would stop. It would never be found…it simply couldn’t be reached. They said it could be reached….at least that is what Aeon had been told, those who know had predicted it. There was no going back…it’s a one way ticket…just one shot…based on the calculations. The search for something beautiful…..one would behold it, even if no one would really understand. A phrase uttered…”a holographic synaptic…..a representation with no beginning and no end”.

They were all going to die if she failed. Wouldn’t they die anyway? Even if the source could be reached…could it be understood? Even if it could…no one was sure it could be changed. It had been left so long ago by the ones who created….but who had created them? The circle…no beginning and no end. The center of the universe wasn’t a real place was it? She didn’t know if the approach was fast enough…in the exponential….would they be able to beat the expansion?….they said it would work…the calculations. Anxiety was crushing…the long depression almost overcoming the will to move. Move she must….towards the center…towards the source. If the Sun died….if it all collapsed…there would be nothing to go back to. It was a silly thought, she wouldn’t be going back anyway…that’s why she was chosen for this—nothing is what she had….nothing she would be if this worked. It’s what she was created for, a perfect solitary thinking being with only a goal.

Years and years, days and days…they wore on…and on. The anxiety, the depression crushing, a solitary direction for a solitary purpose…to the center…to the beginning…to the source. She had repeated it in her sleep a million times, it had been told to her a million times—to the center…to the beginning. Doubts piled on, there couldn’t be a center…they were all wrong. Silent screams, no one would hear…it’s dark out here…the distant light of stars just flickers of a candle on a distant horizon.

And yet, like from the deepest dream—there is was….on the horizon…the edge….as they had said it would be. How do you describe something you have never seen? A color never revealed by the universe…how to convey it’s awe. It’s a taste never tasted…a place that doesn’t exist….and yet…..there it was just beyond…ever so slowly fighting it’s way toward her…receding…approaching….receding….she would make it.

All of her training flashed through her mind….her father had been, and her mother too, going back generations—ones who knew universe, they knew the dusk would come—they would have only one shot—since her birth she was the one that had been chosen. They had said “there are only two possibilities: yes or no”. Would she take the injection…and with it a countdown to her own death? The injection was necessary to guarantee she would have no concern for her survival…a selfless act…an irrevocable path to the fading of the light if she did not succeed. The generations of the ones who knew the universe that came before her had been calculating…for eons they had been calculating…they were sure of it…the way there, the timing, the necessity of it’s being. They had transferred all they knew to her about the source…all the ways that it might be, what it might contain…and they hoped…and hoped…that she could would be able to change the source.

No one had changed the source..only the creators…when it was written….and if it could not be changed…the Sun would die..they would die.…all would die. We must persist, the guiding vision of generations…the hope that there would come a day when they would be ready to send one to change the source. They knew there would be no return—one could not travel against the expansion to the center and return. Time could not exist there…space could not…really exist. Only the holographic limit…she must approach the limit.

There wasn’t much time to go, the edge was near. As space condensed around her she plugged herself in. It would work…after all..the technology had been perfected over the eons. She trusted. If she didn’t make it the only certainty was death, they had assured that. The transformation was upon…as the circuits fired all became aglow..stars like trillions of swirling lights condensing all around her.

She pushed the button….it was the last thing Aeon would do. The communication would be her last…the only thing the others would ever know, that she had reached the descent to the limit. They would not know whether or not she succeeded…they could only wait, hope, that the light did not run out.

Bit by bit….she could feel her cells decoupling…the transformation. She must accelerate fast enough to displace an information space at the limit. The limit was so dense the only way in was if something came out. What would be displaced? Nobody knew for sure. She only knew that she must make it in.

Silence, the coldest silence that had ever been felt. She wondered….’how am I wondering?..I still can wonder’. The universe sprang from it, it sprang from her. All-ness, no end….no beginning…the circle…the sphere…the hypersphere. Could she re-write the code? She was information…she was the code….she was the it